Online dating can feel like a series of hurdles that you’d have to be a track star to navigate. First you have to make a stranger intrigued enough by your dating app profile to swipe right. And then your Tinder conversation starters need to reel them in so they won’t leave you on read.
Next, you better hope your witty banter encourages them to actually make a date. And all this is before you’ve even laid eyes on each other in person. Ugh.
We aren’t good at cardio, and track was never our thing. But, we do consider ourselves to be skilled in the art of communication. So we put together a list of conversation starters for you to use on your quest for love. Feel free to use these on Hinge, Bumble, or any of the other apps, too. Just maybe not in the DM’s. It’s creepy.
What is a Good Conversation Starter on Tinder?
Okay, don’t hate us for being cliche, but the most important (and probably hardest, tbh) thing to do when dating is to just be yourself. We know, we know. But hear us out.
If you’re a naturally witty and sarcastic person, lean into that when it comes to starting a conversation on Tinder. Don’t have a funny bone in your body? Steer clear of trying to fake it over the apps. This will likely come across as inauthentic, and that is bound to make you feel like you’re forcing a dynamic that isn’t natural. Cue awkward vibes and the recipe for a weird first date.
A good conversation starter on Tinder is one that opens the door for a discussion that you find interesting. You’re looking to create a pathway to learn something about the person you’re chatting with. Not everyone is a stand-up comedian, and that’s okay. We need, like, doctors, and stuff, too.
21 Flirty Tinder Conversation Starters
We compiled a cheat sheet of a bunch of opening lines for Tinder that you can copy and paste into the app. If you’re feeling a little more creative, scroll to the end for tips on how to craft your own message. Happy swiping!
- How was your trip to Greece? That’s on the top of my travel bucket list!
- How long have you lived in [insert city here]?
- Are you a [insert sports team here] fan too? I’m so bummed they lost tonight!
- I’m training for a 5k too! Any tips?
- Where are you from, originally?
- What’s your favorite restaurant in the city?
- I can’t believe you’re in dental school! What’s that like?
- How’s your week going? This rain has been crazy!
- I saw that you just moved here from [insert city]. How are you liking it so far?
- Any fun summer plans you’re looking forward to?
- So cool that you love to snowboard! What do you like to do for fun in the off-season?
- I just started learning to cook, and you look like a pro. Down to give me a lesson sometime?
- If you could only have one for the rest of your life, which would it be: books or movies?
- What’s the last book you read/movie you watched/TV show you binged?
- I love that family photo on your profile! Who are you closest to in your fam?
- Quick, I need ordering help! What should I get for dinner tonight?
- What’s on your bucket list that you still haven’t done yet?
- Beer or wine?
- What was the last concert you went to?
- Coolest place you’ve ever been to: go!
- If you had to eliminate one season forever, which one would it be?
Tips for Starting a Conversation on Tinder
1. Ask questions.
Keeping a conversation going on Tinder can be tough, but it’s even harder if the person you’re talking to has nothing to respond to. Keep the chain alive by asking questions.
People love talking about themselves, so give them a chance while giving yourself an opportunity to get to know them. Win-win-win. And still no trophy.
2. Be direct.
Opening lines like “hey” are easy to ignore. It’s clear that you didn’t put effort into crafting that message, so what incentive does the receiver have to respond?
Instead, cut through the noise with a question or comment on their profile. It will show your potential date that you actually read their profile, care to get to know them, and aren’t here to waste their time.
3. Use their profile as a guide.
Dating apps keep adding features like voice prompts, video functionality, the ability to connect your social media accounts, and other ways to show your matches who you are. Tap into those resources.
An easy way to open a conversation is to comment on something in their profile that caught your eye. Loved their Spotify playlist? Studied abroad in the same destination? Have a similar hobby? Know someone from their hometown? Let them know!
4. Don’t let the conversation drag on.
Flirty texting on the app is fun for a while, but the real goal is to transition this into an in-person meet-up. If you let the conversation drag out for days, or even weeks, the likelihood of you actually meeting become slimmer. And the chance of you ending up on MTV’s Catfish? Exponentially higher. No offense, Nev, but we’re good.
It’s important to get a feeling for the person you’re messaging to see if there’s a vibe. But, once you determine that you want to meet up, make it known. Ask for a date, propose a location and time, and give them your number. The apps are there as a starting point – they’re not meant to be the main event.
5. Keep it fun!
For the love of all things holy, don’t get too serious or downright negative. There’s a time and place for vulnerability and “real talk,” and it’s not in message number one. Or even date number one.
Save the “my goldfish just died” messages for once you’re at least on a first-name basis. Dating should be fun, and no one likes a Debbie Downer.
